Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
