Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize
