I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Holy sore nipples Batman
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize