btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
