Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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