you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
