Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
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