Christians are straight up FREAKS
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
