dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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