I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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