Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Randomize
