are you still at the devil's house?
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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