please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Randomize
