Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
my being single is dangerous.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
