How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Randomize
