If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
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