Swine flu. Run for my life!
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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