my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
Its about making memories worth repressing
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
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