Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
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