Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
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