if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Randomize
