Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(973): View more from New Jersey

Plan B is the new Plan A

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(973): Plan B is the new Plan A http://tfl.nu/yxtj

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(805): View more from California

found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.

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(805): found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt. http://tfl.nu/65bm

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(973): View more from New Jersey

so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.

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(973): so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning. http://tfl.nu/luil

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(512): View more from Texas

Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?

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(512): Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over? http://tfl.nu/e898

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(716): View more from New York

I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina

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(716): I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina http://tfl.nu/hz6e

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(417): View more from Missouri

I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.

(417): View more from Missouri

I can't feel my brain.

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(417): I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison. (417): I can't feel my brain. http://tfl.nu/qap9

Replies (11) Good night (1719) Bad night (3976)
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(641): View more from Iowa

My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.

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(641): My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning. http://tfl.nu/bmvl

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(719): View more from Colorado

Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.

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(719): Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too. http://tfl.nu/z0t0

Replies (14) Good night (2039) Bad night (683)
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(317): View more from Indiana

I cant shower it involves moving...

(219): View more from Indiana

Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.

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(317): I cant shower it involves moving... (219): Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame. http://tfl.nu/d6ka

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(305): View more from Florida

Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?

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(305): Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference? http://tfl.nu/v6oa

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(787): View more from Puerto Rico

Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking

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(787): Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking http://tfl.nu/wzvh

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(315): View more from New York

A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos

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(315): A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos http://tfl.nu/8sxj

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(519): View more from Ontario

I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.

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(519): I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity. http://tfl.nu/v0to

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(519): View more from Ontario

I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.

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(519): I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption. http://tfl.nu/y4ti

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(801): View more from Utah

Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?

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(801): Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning? http://tfl.nu/nrqu

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