make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
Randomize