friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Drunk is a universal language darling
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
