They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
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