i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Randomize
