No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Randomize
