Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
of course. lets lasso hookers.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Randomize
