I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
