I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Randomize
