this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
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