We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
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