I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize