There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize