I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
