you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
