That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
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