I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
