"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
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