I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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