He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
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