in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
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