I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
