i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
