I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
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