im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
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Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
it's like heaven, but drunker
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
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He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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