So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
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