It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
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