Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
