her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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