I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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