hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
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