last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize