Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
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