I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
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