I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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