i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
I won't apologize to a one balled man
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
