Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize
