it's too hot outside to masturbate.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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